I have a pre-teen at home, and everybody advises me: Be prepared, you are entering the though years! (In my mind I just answer: What? I feel that I had enough already!). Jokes apart, I relate to the concerns of every parent about how raising a teenager is challenging, so in this post, I will share how I am not scared about dealing with a teen at home, and what really concerns me.
One of my strengths is the ability to use challenges to create a learning path, so teenage years don’t scare me. When people say:
- They will challenge you because they also will have opinions. Truth, but I don’t understand why is this not amazing? Why should I expect someone that only agrees with me and obeys me? I see here an excellent opportunity to teach and learn how respectfully agree and disagree.
- They will test your (and the world) limits! I understand how this can be dangerous, but guidance is the key. I see here opportunities to teach responsibility, consequences, and independence.
- They are inconstant, they are trying to figure out who they are.Well, count with me! I am an expert on this journey! I am trying to figure it out who I am and how to position myself in a better way in this world every day…
I am prepared for the hard times, I had worked with teenagers in Brazil for 12 years, and I see this as a very enriching moment. I admire when they are lost, how hard they try to find a way to understand who they are in this world, or at least how to position themselves. So, all these teens’ issues do not scare me.
Now, compare these goals with your family and school’s expectations. If these seven goals are not in the sight, this indicates that your expectations are not focusing on what is crucial. If you have a teen at home, talk about what the author’s highlighted in her article:
I expect that my son challenges me so we can talk about respect, responsibility, consequences, and independence. I hope that he shares with me how he is confused so I can share with him my journey to discover who I am. Besides, what really concerns me is how it is easy to lose sight of what is essential, and set up expectations that will lead to anxiety and depression.